weigh-2-go.org

My posts lately have been newsy, I admit–a bit of a departure for Weigh-2-Go, as my 10 readers will attest. Where am I going with this?

There’s some magical mysterious factor(s) for weight loss that a gazillion people are trying to figure out.
Even people who have lost weight can’t usually articulate these factor(s) well enough to translate their success to others.
Psychologists, coaches, trainers, and nutritionists have systems–and it’s even possible that all of these systems work!–but the issue is not finding a system.
People don’t follow any system until they are ready.
Weight loss is, we must assume, a personal issue–something that happens inside the mind and the heart.

But it’s becoming a national issue. It has captured the nation’s attention that people are dying, and lifespans are shortening, because of weight.

I was talking to Mary Beth, a fitness trainer, about this phenomenon. We call it The Light Bulb.
If The Light Bulb turns on, weight gets lost. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t.

When I lost 82 pounds, it was because my Light Bulb went on.
Three years later, 25 pounds regained, my Light Bulb is off.
It was on and now it’s off, and I’m having a hard time turning it back on.
How can this be?

The nature of The Light Bulb runs counter to conventional wisdom. It isn’t about goal setting, willpower, accountability, or the right nutrition or exercise program.

It’s about seeing who you will become.
That’s the best I’ve got so far.
We don’t have good language for The Light Bulb.

Dr. Phil says:

Close your eyes and visualize yourself after you’ve reached those goals. Use this visualization to feel commitment and inner strength.

To which a few people say, “oooh, yeah, nice,” but most people say, “waaah?!?”
Better is Dr. Phil’s Life Law #1 is “You either get it or you don’t.” This Law validates the existence of The Light Bulb, but it doesn’t provide a switch.

Weight Watchers says:

Imagine yourself having already achieved your goals, and enjoying them.

Visualize the way your Winning Outcome will be experienced, when you achieve it. Use your senses so that you feel how it will feel. Add sounds, smells, movement.

Is that going to work for this woman and her family?
Has it worked for Oprah?
Is this a realistic goal for everybody?
Can a nation visualize itself healthy?

Now that obesity is having a measurable impact on our life spans and our health, understanding The Light Bulb is vitally important. That’s what I’m blogging about.

A couple of weeks ago, I weighed in at Weight Watchers, and the nice receptionist-weigher said, “I see you’re up above your original weight, so I’m just going to reset your starting weight so you’ll get credit for losing it.”

I knew I had gone up. This wasn’t a shock, and it didn’t upset me–yet.

I said, “Oh, that sounds great, thanks.” I always like getting credit for losing more weight. With a click of her mouse, I was reset.

“Here’s your ‘Getting Started’ booklet,” she said. I accepted it reluctantly the same way I accept a receipt from Starbucks. I don’t really need it–half the time I say so, half the time I don’t. I took the booklet, put on my shoes, and went to the meeting.

The following week, the same receptionist-weigher said, “Here’s your Week 2 booklet and your bookmark.” I was incensed.  (You might have to be a WW veteran to understand the bookmark–receiving it is a rite of new WW membership.)

The bitchy little girl inside me wanted to scream, “Do you know who you’re talking to? I’m no newbie! I don’t need no stinking bookmark!” But I didn’t say it out loud.

And that started the eruption. It’s like PMS except it’s about something. It isn’t about the bookmark, or even being reset. It’s about pride in my accomplishments–that is, losing it.

Today I was angry: angry about having to show up to do a volunteer duty I promised. Angry at the cars in my way on the highway. Angry at the guy who didn’t say hello to me. Angry that the errands I had to run hadn’t been run yesterday. Angry at people who wanted to stop and chat politely, when I was in the mood to be rude and be my myself.

I have a theory about anger. Although I do think I have some good reasons to be angry (because real life does induce anger), and aside from the Weight Watchers restart debacle, I believe that my anger might be induced by sugar.

I’ve been eating sweet foods like a goat eats–everything.

And today, the simplest carb I had was a sweet potato. Maybe my body is just pissed off.

To be continued.

A strange thing happened to me yesterday. I got hungry–alarmingly, distractedly, uncomfortably hungry.

I had lunch with friends, consisting of a big green salad with chicken. That is a normal lunch for me–but i waited too long to eat it. I got too hungry.

Two hours later, I was home to work, and I couldn’t concentrate. “Feed me,” the voice said. “Anything–just feed me.” I had cottage cheese–a good low carb snack.

The voice would not be satisfied until I ate–oatmeal. Healthy, but high carb.

And then a bad thing happened, and that little switch in my head flipped. “Forget it,” or some other F-word, said the voice. “I’m hungry, I’m out of groceries, I’m going out to dinner.” Tofu scramble with salad–and a biscuit. White flour. Lots of simple carbs.

Today, I was ravenous again at lunch time. I ate two lunches–another tofu scramble (jonesing for the tofu with sauteed veggies), and also a large burrito, including tortilla, rice, and beans.

What does it all mean?

• When I lost 50 pounds on a low-carb diet, I had 80 pounds to lose. Perhaps my body at 150 needs more carbs than it did at 220.
• When I lost 50 pounds on a low carb diet, I didn’t worry about how much I ate–I ate low-carb foods until I was satisfied. Perhaps a low-carb regimen and trying to control the size of my appetite don’t mix.
• After 4 weeks being carb conscious, I do still crave bread, cereals, and corn. But I don’t crave sweets–that is a blessing, and a worthy benefit of this entire experiment.
• I’m no nutritionist, and perhaps I am playing with proverbial fire. But I do feel fine, and I am eating healthy foods. Although my compliance with the requirements of the experiemnt is rocky, the results are still interesting.
• I’m going to consider adding some starchier foods back into the regimen, such as beans and rice.

It’s true. I just jogged for about an hour and I smell funny.

Bear with me–I won’t get too graphic.

It isn’t the usual sweaty smell that we all get after exercise. This smell is different.

I remember this smell.
It’s the smell I smelled when I was losing the major pounds.
I think this is the smell of fat burning.

I’m no scientist, but I know that when my body is burning fat instead of glucose, the chemical reaction is different. My body breaks down fat and the result is ketone bodies in my blood stream. (Here’s the article about ketosis on About.com.) Ketosis occurs on a low-carb diet, when the blood stream doesn’t have enough glucose to burn for energy, so the body resorts to burning the fat.

My hypothesis: I am in ketosis, and the ketones come out in my sweat. And I can smell them.

Wow. I admit, it’s a little disgusting. But wow.

I wasn’t good on Saturday. I had a margarita. I cannot tell a lie, Blog Readers!

Also, I weighed in at Weight Watchers on Sunday, and my weight is back up, with a net loss overall of 0.2 pounds in two weeks.

On the traditional Atkins plan, the goal in the first phase, which they call the Induction Phase, is to reach a state of ketosis,in which the body switches gears from using glucose for energy to burning fat, which produces ketones. (Here’s an explanation on About.com.)

Given my recent leniency, I have certainly blown my attempt at reaching ketosis. I vow to begin again immediately. No gin, no margaritas, and I am also going to watch caffeine. (Notice I said “watch”–I’m not sure how strict I can be all at once.)

As I post this, I can report a very good Monday–all low carb, featuring a cheeseburger salad for lunch and eggs for dinner. I believe the weight numbers will stay in contol, and I will give this experiment at least two more weeks and watch how the numbers trend.

Low carbs for ten days. The desire for sweets has diminished drastically. I do still gaze wistfully at the baked goods at the coffee shop, but I don’t have a taste memory for them–my tongue doesn’t tell me what they taste like; I only know by sight that I would love them if we could be together.

I do crave crispy baked and fried carbs–like the golden top of a biscuit or the crispiest cracker. Why? No idea.

Another interesting taste memory I’m having is gin. Yes, the alcoholic beverage. By itself. And I’m not a big drinker of anything, let alone gin. I have indulged in a jigger before bed time to satisfy this urge. The complex flavors in a really good gin are marvelous. Why I sense a tantalizing ghost of a taste of gin, and not chocolate chip cookies, I have no idea. It must be a matter of brain chemistry.

A hoped-for side effect: I am duty-bound to confess that I was looking for more than a health change with my low carb plan. I was looking for euphoria. In the past, I have experienced an elevation of mood when I made this change. Ten days in and I am expecting to feel lighter and happier, but no such results today.

I can’t say I’ve been following my plan purely, though. Today at a restaurant the wisest choice was a spinach quesadilla, complete with flour tortilla. I also had some of the corn tortilla chips that come with it–and corn is my nemesis. Between that and the gin, I have spoiled the ketosis effect promised by Dr. Atkins. So I will strive toward purity and see if my results change.

Appetite is subsiding. Today I noticed a marked difference in how much I crave sweets.

My Weight Watchers POINTS for the past 6 days have been as follows. Keep in mind, I’m supposed to have only 20 POINTS per day.

Wednesday 9/23            35.5

Thursday 9/24                37.5

Friday 9/25                      49.5      Zowee!

Saturday 9/26                 27.0     Out of groceries, and it was raining.

Sunday 9/27                    34.5      Beautiful day for grocery shopping.

Monday 9/28                   29.5

Today I went to a Weight Watchers meeting and was down 1.8 pounds from 2 weeks ago. Before Wednesday, 9/23, I was not logging POINTS. As previously reported, my dinner on Tuesday, 9/22, consisted of a scone and a brownie, and exercise has been about 2 hours per week.

I don’t want to draw conclusions from my experiment before I have more data. It could be a fluke, but it’s encouraging that I have lost weight.

So here’s how it’s going on my Low Carb Regimen.

First day I started changing my eating behavior was Wednesday, September 23.

Tuesday, September 22, I felt depressed. To feel better and combat my needy hunger, I had two chewy chocolate granola bars for an afternoon snack. Then I had a scone and a brownie–for dinner.

Wednesday was a new day. I still felt like crap but I stopped eating carbs.

I have logged all of my food since Wednesday, using the Weight Watchers Food Tracker. I am blowing way past my POINTS! But I don’t care. The goal during this phase is not to lose weight, and not to develop life-long habits. The goal is to stop craving the sweet stuff.

I am allowed 20 Weight Watchers POINTS per day, plus 35 per week. I’ve been eating between 35 and 50 (50!) per day since Wednesday. I will gain weight this way.

Here’s what’s interesting to me: I predict, based on past experience, that my appetite will decrease in about a week or so, and my daily POINTS usage will go down.

• If my POINTS get below 20/day, cool! I have found a way to get back on the plan when life looks bleak.
• If my POINTS don’t get down to 20/day, but I lose weight anyway, won’t that be interesting? That would be a crack in the WW formula, and score a point for the late Dr. Atkins.

And I am sure (95% certain) I will lose weight this way. I have done it 3 times before. If I don’t, it will be because my body has changed (a possibility) or because I’m doing something different.

So let’s see if my prediction comes true–that I will get down to my allotted POINTS –and perform this little experiment (n=1) to compare my Low-Carb plan with the Weight Watchers system.

Atkins?!  The Atkins Diet?

Yes, that Atkins. The infamous low-carb diet.

Didn’t that go out of fashion in 2003?

I don’t care. It worked for me before, and it will work again.

How much weight did you lose on Atkins?

In 2003, I lost about 30 pounds on Atkins. Then I went back to “normal eating” and my weight crept up to about 220. In 2006-2007, I lost 50 pounds on the low-carb diet.

Aha! You ended up gaining the weight back when you quit! Isn’t that evidence that Atkins doesn’t really work?

It’s true, I regained the weight–and more.  But I don’t blame Atkins for that. I blame my own denial about carbs. A few years later, I woke up from that denial, lost the weight, and have kept it off.

So why go back now? Aren’t you at a healthy weight?

I’m on the heavy side of healthy, and I’m losing control again. I’d rather regain control before I regain the weight.

How are you losing control?

For me (I will speak for myself, although I strongly suspect this is true for most people; does that make me a nutcase?–I don’t care), high-carb foods are like a drug, or an obsession. One cookie and I am an addict again. I can’t stay in moderation–just like an addict.

Once I am “on” the low-carb diet and “off” my addiction, I no longer crave high-carb foods. Then I can stay on a healthy food plan. (My healthy food plan–what is “moderation” for me, is probably strict by most people’s standards.)

But isn’t it dangerous? How can you gorge yourself on fatty foods and be healthy–let alone lose weight?

Gorging myself on fatty foods has not been part of my experience. My appetite decreases on this diet, so gorging doesn’t appeal to me.

[Maybe I'll defend the science, point by point, in future blog posts.]

Aren’t you afraid of the dangers of a high-fat diet?

Nope. When I weighted 220, my cholesterol was over 200. When I lost weight on the low-carb diet, my cholesterol numbers went down right along with my weight, with bad and good cholesterol in about the same proportions. The doctor said, “Whatever you’re doing, keep doing it.”

How does it make you feel generally? Doesn’t all that fat and protein make you feel logey?

I experience fewer [bad] mood swings when I avoid carbs. The immediate effect is similar to what some people experience on anti-depressants.

All the scientists and nutritionists and blogs say that Atkins is dangerous.
You’re crazy.

I know. I don’t care. I’m going with what works.

#  #  #

Info:

Pro: The Atkins Diet Weight Loss Program. IMO they have sold out by reacting to their detractors. But they’re the ones making money with this thing–the moderate approach must sell more food bars.

Con: Atkins Exposed: Atkins “Nightmare” Diet. IMO this site just panders to the hysteria, and exaggerates the criticism.

More to come on my approach and why I think it is effective for me.

So I’m blue, deep blue. Functioning, not sick, but scared and low down.

Friends and family, thanks for your love.

On my way down, I have been eating: a lot. The chocolate chip cookie affair was just the midpoint. Cookies, ice cream, granola bars, and frappuccinos® (Starbucks, don’t you know), plus the usual life-sustaining food–and more of that than any human needs. Comfort food, fun food, sad food, busy food, food for waking, food for sleeping, food for working, food for socializing: any food to distract me from the blues.

I see this, and I have kept eating. Today I really noticed how bad it’s gotten. So I decided not to eat sad food.

I did eat a whole pizza today, washed down with unsweetened iced tea. But it was going to be that, or a pizza-sized chocolate chip cookie, washed down with a java chip frappuccino–or worse, a dirty gin martini. That would have been sad food. The pizza was not sad. It was a small, flat crust Margareta pizza with mozzarella, tomatoes, garlic, and double basil. I ate the pizza to avoid the cookie(s). And I avoided the cookies because I’m not eating sad. Not today.