weigh-2-go.org

This morning on NPR’s Morning Edition, I was half-listening to a report that Air France has decided to allow large people to occupy two seats on a plane for free. This is a reversal of a policy to charge for the extra seat, which had earned the company “the ire of obesity defense groups,” said the reporter on my radio.

“Obesity defense groups” tugged at my ear. Research!

But first, a statement of values is on order. Where do I stand in defense of obesity? What bias do I have? (And I do have one, as I will demonstrate.)

I put being overweight in the same category as the following:

• parenthood
• using mind-altering drugs
• collecting guns
• attending crafts festivals
• reading porn magazines
• working in food service
• swimming laps
• watching Bill O’Reilly

I know people  who practice these things, and I defend their right to do so. But experience and instinct tell me they are not right for me.

What Book Are We Reading?

Brief tangent: I was at a book club meeting to discuss “The Awakening” by Kate Chopin. Spoiler Alert: The main character, an affluent mother with a working husband in New Orleans in the late 1800s, quietly rebels against convention, but becomes isolated from love and society, and commits suicide. At our meeting, Jennifer was very upset. “She could have started a salon to discuss great ideas! She could have become a painter or a musician! She had children to raise! She didn’t have to kill herself!” To which Sally answered calmly, “Jennifer, that’s not the book we’re reading.”

Being thin? As a society, that’s not the book we’re reading. Oh sure, we have options, but we take the options we take, because we live in this world, here, now.

And it’s a weird world where statistically “normal” weights are rising, but being large is alternately normalized, then marginalized by our culture in a bipolar way. The message of diet books, Jamie Oliver, and The Biggest Loser is: everyone would be better off thin. Sponsored by TGI Friday’s, Burger King, and Comcast with 250 channels. Those shows don’t really have those sponsors, but we all see those ads–they’re in our culture and our heads–and they resonate with our familiar lifestyles.

What would happen to the economy if 80% of Americans cooked–really cooked–18 meals per week, and replaced 5 hours per week of TV/video/gaming time with exercise? That’s what it would take for American’s to be fit. That’s not the book we’re reading.

And, as a former borderline-obese person, who has: been rudely blown off by the rail-thin retail girl at Victoria’s Secret; sat in theater seats obviously not designed for the width of her butt; and huffed and puffed like the Big Bad Wolf after climbing office stairs behind thin coworkers; I remember being marginalized.

I do believe that obese people require defense.

But I admit my bias in the “everyone would be better off thin” camp. Here’s how I demonstrate my bias: I really enjoyed Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution (watch entire episodes and video shorts online). But here’s a scathing review on the Shakesville Blog that I can’t entirely argue with, either. Wow–as in politics, we hear and see the same things, and come away with totally different opinions. Based on whatever book we’re reading.

OK, so I’ve become fat again, after losing my eighty pounds, 2006-2007.

“What?!” I hear my friends shrieking. “But I thought you were doing so well! Your Facebook pictures don’t look so bad!”

“You’re full of crap!” others respond. “You look fine!”

It’s true, I’m fat. I am outside my personal healthy range. If I don’t turn this bus around fast, I have to buy larger clothes. That is what fat means to me.

And this is why my blogging frequency has slowed down: shame. (I started a blog to share my success and happiness!–not for this.)

A side note: where I work, we say “What you recognize grows.” A corollary is: “Good news to groups, bad news one-on-one.” and the corollary for social media is: “Good news on blogs and in Facebook: bad news in email.” (That last corollary came up when a customer wrote a very specific complaint on the company’s Facebook Wall…quite annoying.)  So, why blog bad news just to shame myself?

So, what is happening today: I am ramping up my exercise regimen (3 visits in the last 5 days), but I am still eating anything and everything. I will keep you posted.

Incentive: I have signed up for the Peachtree Road Race (the big 10K in Atlanta, July 4) and I want to at least get a time in the ballpark of my 2007 time of 1:11.

So my posts on this blog have slacked off lately, but for a reason which in hindsight I believe is a good one: I didn’t know what to write. Now I believe I do know.

My purpose for this blog has always been to answer the questions, “Why me?” and “Why now?” Why, among all the people who try so hard to lose weight was I able to do it successfully, and why, after so many attempts, did it finally work for me?

I am getting closer to an answer, I think. I was afraid that the real answer was too personal and too complex to blog about, so I stopped blogging. But now I think it might be perfect for a blog.

I don’t have the answer fully figured out, but my initial premise is: it isn’t as complicated as many of the how-to books would have us believe. Yes, physiology and psychology have advanced to make weight loss more efficient, more intelligent, and maybe a bit easier. The bookstores are filled with new and improved diets, systems, and workbooks. Even Weight Watchers has recently updated their program. All these tools are useful, but having or not having the right books doesn’t explain why some people lose weight and others struggle, or why to stick with the program.

Tools, systems, and other answers to “how” did not enable me to lose weight. “How” is secondary. “Why” comes first.

Once there is a “why”—a purpose and a motivation—then all information about “how” is abundant, and one only has to select a method that makes sense and sounds feasible for them.

So I will blog about “why.”

I have been thinking a lot lately about thinking.

I am taking a class that deals with ethics and rationality. The thrust of the class is that to be happy, we must be rational and conscious. We must honor our emotions and our instincts, but not them run our lives. We get our best results when our conscious minds are in control.

My classmates apply this philosophy to their jobs, their relationships with their relatives and friends, and their positions on politics and religion. I apply it to eating.

When my diet goes awry, it is because I have lost conscious control. I eat emotionally. I eat to feel good, to be comfortable, to have fun, or to regulate my mood.  When I lose consciousness about food, I gain weight.

And it is difficult to get this control back. It takes a lot more conscious thought than simply remembering how many calories are in a bowl of cereal for me to gain some control. It is not one decision I make, such as, “From now on I won’t eat big bowls of cereal.”  Instead it is a habit I have to cultivate, constantly and iteratively, because it is too easily, and so frequently, lost.

But this is just me.  I know other people who think about everything they eat, and even keep a food journal and count POINTS. But they still struggle with weight or general health.  Even Oprah, with Bob Greene, Dr. Phil, and all the wisdom amassed by the authors of her Book Club books, has not–I venture to say–mastered her mind.

I wish I could be like Grammar Girl, or Hungry Girl, or the Nutrition Diva, and broadcast quick and dirty tips on how to become conscious about eating. But it would be more like psychology, or even philosophy–like my class.  And the resulting tips wouldn’t just apply to weight loss or maintenance, but to any goal.

Lately I’ve set up my blog emails to come out “Weigh-2-Go Wednesdays.”  I thought that, since I wanted to ramp up my posting, maybe my email subscribers would rather get spammed every time I publish, but just get a weekly update.

So what do y’all think?  Would y’all rather get my emails once a week or every time I post?

Please comment on this topic!  Thanks!

I’ve been “lurking” (just reading, not posting yet) on the Weight Loss Forums at www.weight-loss-forum.com. It’s a large, active, and respectful community of people who want to lose weight. Many appear to be just starting out and looking for advice and motivation, and many others are willing to share their experiences.

Most of the posters have a “ticker” that is some graphic (they come in many motifs!…a belt with a buckle, a city skyline, just a row of hearts…there might be hundreds of styles) that shows each person’s weight loss goal (the end of the graphic) and their progress (some graphical marker). Pretty cute!

I recommend these forums for anyone–especially young people (by young I mean in your teens or 20s, maybe 30s) who are getting started and looking for information and support.

I am going to keep “lurking” to find ideas for this blog, as well as reach out to the weight-conscious community online.

Blogging, like weight loss, is a commitment that you can’t effectively set aside for any length of time. You need to think about it consistently, and work at it regularly, for it to be a success.

But life throws up interruptions and distractions. In fact, some of the distractions from blogging are the same as the distractions from exercising daily or being diligent with food: distractions like breaking up with a boyfriend, or trying to negotiate a possible career change.

I can’t very easily prevent the world from throwing me curve balls. But I can get back on track.

I am interested, though, in the notion of the “track.”  Many learned behaviors in life are simply “on the track,” and I will never stop doing them–like brushing my teeth, showering, wiping off the kitchen counters, or keeping a bottle of water by my bed at night.

So now that I am trying to re-lose my last 10 pounds, can I get certain other behaviors “on the track” and keep them there for good?  Like carrying my snacks with me each day, taking vitamins, keeping my food log, and sticking to my exercise plan?  And writing my blog?

I’m better off when I can make good habits automatic.  Then, when possible distractions come up, they don’t distract me from the essentials.  Does anyone have any creative ideas on how to get new habits “on track”?

Maybe it was the TV show “The Biggest Loser” that brought this ironic double entendre to my attention…or maybe this phrase was in common parlance long before I lost weight…but I’m just getting used to calling myself a “loser.” Maybe I’m too politically correct or just plain sensitive, but at first I felt bad about calling myself–or anybody else–a “loser.” But now I am getting used to it.

Does anyone else bristle at this term? And if so, what do we call ourselves?

I think I like the way that the National Weight Control Registry calls us “successful losers.”

I’m developing a theme for this blog and working on figuring its niche. I’ve decided that there are so many weight loss blogs out there, that this one needs to be as specific as possible in order to find an audience. So, I would like to focus on Maintenance Mode: how to get there and stay there. Although it will contain content that is helpful to people in first-time weight loss mode, it will be more focused on: staying motivated, the realities of the lifestyle changes, being grateful, adjusting relationships…more.

I have a good feeling about this direction, because the more I hone in on it, the more people I talk to who are in this phase of their journey of gaining fitness and recovering their health. Just today I happened to have lunch with a potential business colleague…and the subject of weight loss came up. We have both lost major pounds, and are writing about it. So cool!

If you have any additional ideas about news or information that would appeal to this sub-group of weight losers, please add them in Comments. Thanks!